Have you ever bought something impulsively, thinking you absolutely NEEDED it, only to regret it soon after wards?
One thing that often comes with ADHD is acting without thinking, like spending money impulsively. For women with ADHD, controlling impulse spending can be really tough. Sometimes we might buy things on a whim because we feel bored, stressed, or just excited about buying something new. Often it’s something small like a notebook, other times it’s a really big and expensive thing, like a telescope or even a car!
It’s important to know that ADHD isn’t just about being bad with money. It’s a real condition that affects how the brain handles things like self-control and decision-making. So, its ok if you need extra help and strategies to handle impulses and make smarter choices with money.
By understanding how ADHD and impulse spending are connected, you can start learning ways to manage your money better and feel more in control of your spending habits. With support and some smart strategies, you can definitely improve how you handle your finances.
Sometimes, certain things can make us want to spend money without really thinking about it, I like to think of them as triggers. They’re like little signals that make impulse spending more likely.
Triggers can be different for everyone, but common ones include feeling bored, stressed, or even just seeing something cool and wanting it right away. When you can recognise what triggers your impulse spending, you can start to do something about it.
You might start noticing when you feel stressed or bored, and come up with other things to do instead, like going for a walk, talking to a friend, or doing something creative. This helps you take control and make smarter choices about your spending.
While it’s important to reward ourselves for our efforts in life, when we regularly spend on impulse, we create a few problems for ourselves:
- We can run out of money. This can lead to a complete denial of the fact bills need to be paid and instead of facing it, we put our heads in the proverbial sand and keep it there until the wi-fi turns off.
- We end up with more stuff. The more stuff you have, the more you have to keep clean and organised. Things that look amazing at the shops end up buried under a mountain of clutter, sometimes before we’ve even opened them. A few days later, we can’t ever remember we bought it.
- Perhaps worst of all, we damage our self-confidence and trust in ourselves. We berate ourselves for not being ‘real adults’ or responsible with our money. We then set up unachievable goals and feel hopeless when we don’t achieve them. To make ourselves feel better, we go shopping and the cycle continues.
- The Diderot effect. Coined by Grant McCracken, this describes how buying one thing often leads to buying MORE things that go with the first thing. Buying a new picnic basket might put you in the mood for a beach umbrella and a portable BBQ and before you know it, you’re researching 4WD’s! Can you think of a time this happened to you?
Understanding the problems caused by impulse spending is important, but it’s also helpful to imagine how good it’ll feel once you’re in control of your spending habits. Imagine a life where you are less stressed about cash, have a more organised home and believe in your ability to control yourself! That’s what you can have when you master impulse spending.
Just a quick heads-up: while I’ve got plenty of tips and tricks up my sleeve, I’m no financial guru. So, take whatever ideas suit you, but don’t read this article and decide to sell your house or something drastic! I’m just here to give you some ideas for spending less in the context of having ADHD myself. I definitely don’t know enough about money to replace your financial advisor. It’s a blog, not a financial planning session! Ok, let’s continue…
There are lots of different things you can do to improve your spending habits. You don’t have to take all of them on at once, or ever! Some of them will fit your life and others might make you roll your eyes up to the heavens. Read through these tips, find the one that feels the most doable and start there.
1️⃣ Spending limits – Set a limit to blow on unplanned things each pay cycle. Move it into a separate account with its own card. This way, you’re not dipping into your essentials fund and you can indulge guilt-free. It doesn’t matter how much money you put in this account. Some people might put $10 in there, others might put $1,000. The point is to give yourself some money to spend however you want and not have feelings afterwards that impact your self worth.
An important point about this one – sometimes I hear people say “But I don’t have enough money to put any aside for something like this”. However, if you are impulse spending on things you don’t need, then you’re finding the money somewhere and likely from something that should be left alone, like money for bills. So, be 100% upfront and honest with yourself. It might feel unrealistic to add $10 or $20 into an already tight budget to blow on whatever you want, but that’s probably better than not accounting for it and still blowing $50 that was meant to pay your phone bill.
2️⃣ Leave cards at home – If you’re going to get groceries or run errands, move the amount you need onto one card and leave other cards at home. If you can’t trust yourself not to just move money back using a banking app, sign out of the apps and leave your log in details at home.
Having cards connected to phones can also make it easier to dive into other accounts and rob yourself. As awesome as it is to be able to pay for things with your phone and not have to carry cards and risk losing them, if this is a weak spot for you, consider removing them for a while.
3️⃣ Avoid temptation – Try to steer clear of places or websites where you tend to overspend impulsively. When you’re out and about, don’t go in those shops that get all your money. If you don’t feel able to not go in, can you walk a different way down-town or in the shopping centre so you don’t even see it? Distract yourself along the way with a podcast or some music, or even better, a walking meditation or mindfulness exercise.
If online shopping is a weakness, move shopping apps into a folder harder to access and sign out of them. If you feel really brave, delete them. There’s a few shopping apps that have gotten very popular these days because things are so incredibly cheap. Cheap still isn’t free and it all adds up. If you’re worried about your spending, get rid of them. As a side bonus, you’ll have less junk in your house!
I’ve supported a lot of women who swear by putting items into a cart online and then just deleting the cart, they say it gives them enough of a dopamine hit and then they move on. It never worked for me, once I got that close to the finish line, I would purchase anyway and given the amount we spend online each year it seems I’m not the only one. So if you are using this method, be sure to do some reality testing of if it actually works for you or not.
Longer term, we also want to get more dopamine hits from internal sources and not external, because this makes so many parts of having ADHD much easier (but let’s save that for another blog!)
4️⃣ Find distractions – When the urge to spend hits, distract yourself with something else you enjoy, like going for a walk, reading, or calling a friend. It can help break the impulse cycle. If you’re curious about what mindfulness and meditation can do for you, this can be a great time to experiment with a guided mindfulness exercise or walking meditation.
Now even though we are famous for being easily distracted, sometimes self-imposed distractions just don’t quite work the same. If this is you, you can try repeating a mantra to yourself about not impulse spending. Have a note on your phone or in your wallet reminding you of the reasons why you don’t want to impulse spend, and how you know you will feel when you get past this urge to buy. Be kind in the note… “Stop spending money, you’re so irresponsible” doesn’t help and just makes us feel bad. Try something positive like “I know I can get through this because I’m awesome, and I’ll be so proud when I go home and still have money left”.
5️⃣ Delay – When you see something you want at the shops, leave it there for ten minutes and keep doing what you were doing. Chances are, you won’t go back for it. If you’re shopping online, put the phone or computer away for ten minutes and you just might forget about it.
When it comes to big purchases, have a clear rule for how much time you will wait before buying and what defines “a big purchase”. I won’t buy anything for over $100 unless I have waited 24 hours (except for that time my car broke down on the side of the road and I had to pay for a roadside assistance program!).
6️⃣ Grocery Stores – Choose a grocery store that’s on its own, not inside a shopping centre. This is really important if your spending happens in retail shops. You want to avoid walking past them wherever possible. If you can’t find a supermarket that is just outside on its own, order online instead.
Online ordering your groceries also has a lot of other benefits. Impulse spending isn’t always on shoes and notebooks, often its buying extra groceries that aren’t on your list or in your meal plan. How many times have you bought fresh vegetables on a whim because you randomly declared in the middle of the fresh food section to become a master cook for your family? In goes the eggplant, a swede, and some other thing you’ve never seen before. But you don’t have a recipe, you don’t like to cook and a week later, you find them in a soggy mouldy mess behind three bags of cheese.
7️⃣ Unsubscribe from retailers – Avoid giving your email or mobile number to retailers where possible. Constant emails with pretty pictures and bargains can be hard to say no to and before you know it, you bought a beach towel you didn’t even need, because it was 40% off.
As a new email comes into your inbox, unsubscribe right there and then once you see it is a retailer. If you get physical junk mail in your letterbox, put a “No Junk Mail” sign on it. Remind yourself that if you really needed something, you would know you needed it and go and buy it. Retailers spend millions of dollars to convince you that you need things, be mindful of this and recognise it for what it is when you are exposed to it.
An out of the box solution that helped me here was to do a bit of research about marketing techniques. I did a short course online about it and now when I see advertising material, I analyse the technique, which helps me avoid falling into it.
Remember that getting better at managing impulse spending takes time and effort. You might have setbacks along the way, and that’s okay. The key is to keep going, even when it feels hard.
Being patient means giving yourself the time you need to learn and improve. It’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. Keep trying, and don’t be too hard on yourself. We are masters at talking down to ourselves and the more aware you are of this, the less you will do it.
Keep using the strategies that work for you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. By staying patient and persistent, you can make progress and get better at managing your impulse spending over time.
Every time you don’t spend is a victory, so celebrate your successes and keep moving forward!
Do you have any other tips? Drop a comment and let me know!
Have an awesome week!